Anniversary
by pacphys
Summary: Was it too much for them to remember one little anniversary? Sure, it’s an anniversary of a horrid incident, but it’s an anniversary all the same.


**A/N: **This one was tough for several reasons, but I had to do it.

**Anniversary**

To say that I was peeved would've been an understatement. I mean, it wasn't that much to ask, was it? Just one day, just one day out of the entire year I wanted them to care, to remember. I turned my attention back to Splinter's commands, but I had missed a position. Maybe I got lucky this time because Splinter didn't call a halt about it. Nah, I can't believe that. He noticed. He always notices. At least someone does.

* * *

I'm distracted, I know. I shouldn't be. I'm a ninja for crying out loud! I can focus. Okay, so I don't always focus when I should, but I know how to when I have to. Usually. I just can't seem to do it today. Not that I don't have reason. That's no excuse. Snap out of it! Come on, it's not that tough. Just one move… okay we got that one. Now the next one. See, easy. One thing at a time. Why can't they see what this means to me? No! Stop. Next position. Okay. Focus on the present. This is all there is. _But it's NOT all there is!_ Here and now. Focus on the here and now. Everything else can wait. We've… well, I have anyway, I can't speak for them. I've been waiting for a year what's another hour or two? Next position!

"And finish!" Master Splinter called out.

Alright, bow. Ok, see? Not so tough. Wait for what happens next. Please don't let it be sparring. Dang. It's sparring. Raph and Don are up first. So that pits me against Leo next match. Great. Won't that be fun? I love to start the day by getting my shell shellacked. Good times. I don't want to be here. I'm bad for morale; they should really just let me leave. Did I just say that? I'm bad for morale? I'm not bad for morale. I'm good for morale. Not today. Today, good morale decided to take a vacation and she left doom and gloom behind. I don't like those two. They bother me. Terrific, Don and Raph are done. Guess that means I'm up.

Come on, Leo. Hit me with your best shot. Why don't you care? Did she mean nothing to you! I suddenly saw my chance. Almost without my direction my nunchaku wrapped around Leo's swords and I felt them lock into place. I pulled hard, flinging the two blades across the room. My brother suddenly found himself disarmed. See, he's not always perfect. We do beat him at his own game every once in a while.

I take my place next to Donnie and found myself even more annoyed. Is this what Raph feels like all the time? I'd hate to be him. This is not fun. How can he live like this? Of all of them, I'm most ticked at Donnie right now. He's always says talking helps, right? But where was he when I needed an ear? Gone, hiding in his little hidey hole of a workshop, topside at some dumb junkyard, he was anywhere but here. Even when he was here he was gone, almost instantly. He's a fake, and that ticks me off more than anything. When it came right down to it, he didn't care.

Standing, I face my purple masked brother, and he has a strange look in his eyes. He almost looks concerned. Since when does he care? He hadn't cared then, why should he care now?

* * *

&

* * *

I think I might have been a little hard on him in our sparring match. Splinter called a halt and, automatically, I did. Only then did I realize what I was doing. Donnie was on the ground, disarmed, and I was still attacking him. The bout was done and I had no idea how I had gotten where I was. Sure, I was angry, but that's not an excuse, right? I mean, Raph's still accountable for his actions when he goes overboard. But we expect that from him. I'm not supposed to lose it like this. I ran. I heard Splinter stop someone from following me, though I don't know who it was.

I slammed the door to my room and fingered the pink band around my wrist. It was still there. To be honest, it was really more white than pink now, but it was my pink band. To me it would always be pink. Heck, the thing could turn some bizarre chartreuse and it would STILL be my pink band. What happened to theirs, huh? I know I gave them one. They wore them for a while, but where did they go? And on today of all days, where were they? Was one little day really too much to ask? Was it too much for them to remember one little anniversary? Sure, it's an anniversary of a crappy incident, but it's an anniversary all the same.

I pulled out a sketch book and doodled. It wasn't supposed to look like anything, which was good, because it didn't look like anything. But it was obviously an angry picture: angular and harsh with sharp edges. I'm not sharp edges usually. But hey, everyone's entitled to one off day, right? I'm allowed that. Someone knocked on my door. It wasn't Master Splinter and it wasn't Raph; that much I knew. Master Splinter's raps sound different and Raph just plain doesn't knock, but I hadn't been paying enough attention to be able to tell if it was Leo or Donnie. I prayed for the former and opened the door.

It wasn't Leo. I would have slammed it in Donnie's face if I hadn't caught an eyeful of the shiner on his cheek. I'd given that to him. Really, I'd done enough damage for one day. He smelled faintly of a couple of Splinter's herbal medicines too. Yeah, we're all more familiar with those smells than anyone should be.

"Whatever you have to say, I don't want to hear it." I told him.

"Please Mike. I wanted to show you something."

Out of curiosity, I opened to door a little farther and watched as Donnie pulled off his wrist guard. There, underneath, was the pink band. Boy, did I feel like a doofus. No, that's not a strong enough word for the jerk I had been this morning.

"It's okay to be upset, Mikey." I heard Don saying. "She is your friend."

I couldn't bring myself to look at him, not after what I had done.

"I know I acted like a jerk."

What was he apologizing for? He's not the one who pulled a trick more appalling than anything Raph had done. At least Raph only attacked when provoked. Geez, I'm an idiot. Don didn't seem to notice, because he kept speaking.

"I made mistakes, and the biggest one was not letting you know that I do care about what happened. I'm sorry it happened, I'm sorry she's gone, and most of all I'm sorry I didn't tell you this sooner."

I looked again at the pink band on his wrist… no, it was more of a white than pink, just like mine is.

"I've had it on every day since you gave them to us, Mikey, even when I didn't know why I wore it." I watched as he fingered the edges, and at that point I noticed that the ends were slightly singed. "It just got in the way on occasion so I tucked it under my wrist guard. I didn't mean to hide it, just keep it from getting destroyed."

I had done the same thing with mine, so it was hardly something I could fault him for. "Donnie, I… I don't understand."

"For a long time, I didn't either. I didn't know how to react so I guess I chose not to." That wasn't quite what I meant, but I knew what he was talking about.

"That's why you ran off like you did."

Don nodded and sat down beside me on my bed. He just sat there for a long moment looking at the floor. "Do you know why I wear it, Mikey? Why I didn't take it off one night and leave it on the nightstand the next morning?"

Man, he just had to go all cryptic on me. That was Leo's department. Donnie's department is techno-babble. How the shell was I supposed to know why he wore it?

"Do you know why you wear yours?" He asked.

I honestly hadn't given it much thought lately. That band reminded me of her. She was out there somewhere. Somewhere, in that big wide world out there, was a friend that I hadn't seen in a year because someone, some bastard, decided that it might be fun to abduct an innocent girl and do God knows what... Stopping now. I can't go there. Evidently, my emotions were showing. Or maybe I was just too slow. Really, either one was entirely possible.

"Mikey?"

Finally, I had an answer. "Hope." That's what it was.

"She is out there somewhere, Mikey. I know it's been a long time."

"You used the present tense."

"What?"

"Present tense. You said 'she IS your friend' and 'she is out there', not 'she was'."

"Yeah, I guess I did. There is hope, Mikey. Don't ever lose that." Don added just before he stood and left.

* * *

It wasn't long after Donnie left that I emerged from my room. Raphael was in the living room watching wresting on TV.

"Mikey," He called as I walked behind him on my way to the kitchen. "I noticed a few faded posters of your friend when I was out last night. If you want we can go replace 'em later."

Talk about a shock with that one. I don't know that I answered right away. "Uh, yeah, th…that'd be great." I shook my head as I tried to clear it. This was Raph we were talking about, right? He's the one who just offered?

"I found some too." Leo added as he came in from the kitchen. "We can replace them on our training run tonight."

I smiled. They hadn't forgotten. There were probably very few who had. She might be gone now, but there is hope. And when she does finally find her way, she most assuredly has a place to come home to.

* * *

**A/N: **It's been one year. May God bless you and guide you, Brooke. 


End file.
